As the 3rd day here comes to a close, I find myself missing you more, not any less. I try more and more to concentrate on work and therefore I wanted to make sure I attended the necessary social events, and honestly I've met some amazing people, but overall the people in this city and their attitude pains me knowing I'm bringing you both here. It makes me feel filled wit terrible guilt, as seemingly the people at work are phenomenal, but the other people I meet have this automatic animosity. This guilt that fills me makes me consider how unfair it is for you to have to search out a job, and change your whole life, for me. I'm both humbled and saddened. You're so amazing, and I know as soon as you arrive most of my issues will crumble into nothingness, but I really wish that I could provide a life out here where you don't have to work.
But wow, am I homesick. I miss Mariana and you so much that waking up in the morning is a difficult task. When I wake up, I look around and there's no you, there's no Mariana, no Mariana's voice or the sound of a shower, or your smell, no little pitter pats running around my house and calling me daddy. My life is truly empty here. I just want to come home now. I feel completely without power, without motivation, and without hope, without you.
1 comment:
Your words consistently take my breath away. We will make this an amazing experience and then we will move on. But you are wrong, I am not changing my whole life... because that is you and that definitely isn't changing.
I love you, Jed.
I have a surprise coming to you which hopefully will make you smile. You should receive it in a couple of days (and no, it isn't the movies).
I can't wait to see you... 8 days and counting!
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